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念念不忘,必有回响

念念不忘,必有回响
/Wish Wu
互惠生是一条少有人走的路,而男生选择成为互惠生就更少了,而我就是踏上这么条路的一个男生。
Au Pair is a way for few people to walk, and  fewer boys choose to become Au Pair, and I am a boy who goes on this road.
 
回想自己从报名到材料准备再到匹配家庭,这一路遇到了很多挫折和困难,但也得到家人、老师朋友们各种各样的帮助与祝福。希望能通过这个总结,自己的经历做一个回顾,也希望把自己的一些经验分享出来给还在匹配阶段的互惠生朋友们做一个参考。
In response to a lot of setbacks and difficulties, I have received many kinds of help and blessing from family, teachers and friends. I hope to make a review of my experience through this summary, and also hope to share some of my experience and give a reference to the friends who are still in the matching stage.
 
一、为什么选择互惠
Why do I chose to be an Au Pair?
一开始参加互惠的时候,是希望修正自己性格上的一些不足的,就像彭老师说的,我有很多优点,但是我不自信,我沟通上的不足会掩盖了我的优点,所以我希望能有一个好的机会能够完善自己的性格
At the beginning, I want to amend some of the shortcomings of his character. As Ms. Peng said, I have a lot of advantages, but I am not confident, my lack of communication will cover up my advantages, so I hope to have a good opportunity to improve my own character.
但是随着时间的推移,经历多了想的也多了,态度也发生了变化。
But as time went on, I experienced more and thought more, my attitude changed.
 
首先是性格方面,互惠准备的过程本身已经是一个很好的锻炼机会了。我们在准备材料的时候要和老师沟通交流,要参加与儿童相关的实践,也要和家长有交流,这些碰撞接触都是完善自己的好机会。当我们想要改变的时候,重要的不是身处何处,而是有没有静下心来思考,有没有改变的勇气和行动力
First of all, character, the process of Au Pair preparation is already a good opportunity to change. I have to communicate with teachers when we prepare materials, to participate in jobs about children and to communicate with parents, and these contacts are all good opportunities to improve myself. When we want to change, it is not important where we are, but whether we calm down to think and whether we have the courage and action to change.
 
现在的我依旧不够自信,沟通能力也有待提高,但我比以前更开朗了,也更愿意表达自己了,我相信美国的日子会给我更多的机会让我去改变和完善
Now I am still not confident, and communication skills need to be improved, but I am more open and more willing to express myself than I used to, and I believe that the days in the United States will give me more opportunities to change and improve.
 
另外,参加了工作之后,我对互惠也有了另外层面的理解。因为半年我在辅导班工作的,看到了孩子身上往往体现了一个家庭的教养方式中国许多家庭如此的相似,孩子存在的问题也是相似的。我希望能够在美国亲身体会到教育上的不同,取长补短。
Besides, after joining the work, I have another understanding of being an Au Pair. Because I worked in a tutorial class in the past six months, I saw that a child often embodies a family's upbringing. Many families in China are so similar that children have similar problems. I hope I can experience the differences in education in the United States and learn from each other's strengths.
最重要的,我希望自己的人生能过得有趣和丰盛,互惠是一个很好的选择。
Most importantly, I hope my life can be fun and prosperous. Being an Au Pair is a good choice
 
相信每个人都会有自己的目标理由,值得被尊重。也觉得有了目标之后都应该有一份坚持,即使上面我说了那么多,在匹配的这接近半年里仍旧动摇了很多次,值得庆幸的是在我两次将要放弃的时候都有家庭联系了我,这份幸运总让我心存感恩感恩命运对我的厚爱,也感恩自己多坚持了一会儿
I believe that everyone will have their own goals and reasons, and deserve respect. I also think we should have a stick after we have a goal. Even if I say so much, I still shook many times in the match for nearly half a year. Fortunately, I had a family contact with me when I decided to give up the two time. This luck always makes me feel grateful and grateful for myself insisted on a little more time.
所以如果你已经明确了自己的目标,但同样在等待中煎熬的话,希望你能够坚持下去,因为当你匹配上的那一刻,一切等待都有了意义。
So if you have identified your goals, but are also waiting in the waiting, I hope you can stick to it, because when you match a family, all the waiting is meaningful.
 
二、关于材料准备
About material preparation
关于我自己的材料,我觉得相比于其他同学的应该算不上出彩,但依旧有家庭因为看了我的材料而联系我,我觉得是因为我的材料有一个突出的优点——真实。
With regard to my own material, I think it should not be better than the other Au Pairs, but there is still three families to contact me because of my material, and I think it is because my material has a prominent advantage - truth.
 
当时300小时的孩子经验愁了很久,没有能够找到合适的实践机会。但我也没有选择敷衍的方式,比如去公园几个孩子拍照之类的,我觉得这样是敷衍老师和家庭,最主要的是敷衍了自己这样迟早是要吃亏吃回来的。
At that time, I was worried about the experience of 300 hours of children for a long time, and no opportunities could be found. But I did not choose the way to be perfunctory, such as going to the park to find a few children to take pictures, I think this is cheating the teacher and the family, the most important is to cheat myself, so sooner or later it will be pay back.
 
 
后来机会来了,在老师的帮助下,我找到一个四个孩子的家庭去当了一个多月的家教老师。每天两个小时的课,然后接下来的时间可以跟孩子有时候家长不在还带着孩子们一起做饭,家长都比较喜欢我,去游乐园也带着我,有点类似于体验互惠生活了。因为家长和孩子都相处的很好,现在一直联系孩子们还经常说我。这就给了我很大的信心,觉得自己参加互惠也可以做好这件事。
Later, the opportunity came. With the help of my teacher Zhao, I found a family with four children to be a tutor for more than a month. Every day I have a two hours class, then I played with the children, sometimes when the parents were not at home, I cooked for the kids, because the parents and children liked me, I also went to the amusement park with them. It was just the Au Pair life. Because I get along well with their family and the children often say they miss me. This gave me a lot of confidence that I could do well in becoming an Au Pair.
 
另外参加了三年的公益社团,参加过支教,小学当过助教,帮助老人写过自传,还有大学的一些经历等等,也我的材料增色了。因此我觉得只要是踏实走过的路,就算用的时间比别人长,也不会是弯路,总有一天会得到回报的。
In addition, I took part in a public welfare association for three years, aid education program, be an assistant in primary school, helped an old with his autobiography and some of the experiences of the University, etc.. This experience also made my documents abundant. Therefore, I feel that if you do things with steady and sure, even if it takes longer than others, it will not be a detour, one day it will be rewarded.
 
三、关于匹配过程
About matching
跟我联系的一共有三个家庭。最终匹配的是第二个。跟家庭视频之后就会体会到,英语真的很重要因为这是沟通交流的基础,所以还在匹配阶段的朋友们一定要练好英语。
There are three families to contact with me. The final match is second. After the family video, I realized that English was really important, because it was the basis of communication, so if you are still in the matching stage must be able to practice English well.
 
能跟第二个家庭匹配上,有一部分是因为运气。家妈的祖籍是福建的,一开始就有亲切感再加上家妈说中文,面试的时候我可以用中文表达,就省去了很多尴尬。当然,家庭问我的问题我答的很好,也是一个重要原因。问题主要是围绕孩子的,比如孩子打架怎么办,孩子不想上学怎么办,这些问题一定要注意考虑孩子的年龄,因为太小的孩子讲不了道理,大一点的孩子需要认识规则和责任,处理方法使不一样的。
Part of the match with the second family is luck. Host mother's ancestral home is in Fujian. At the beginning, there is a feeling of kindness, and then host mother can speak Chinese. I can talk to them with Chinese in the interview, so it saves a lot of embarrassment. Of course, the family asked me questions that I answered very well, which is also an important reason. The problem is mainly about children, such as how to do when the children fight or the children do not want to go to school, these problems must pay attention to the age of children, because too small children can’t make sense, older children need to know the rules and responsibilities, it makes treatment methods different.
 
 
第一个家庭匹配失败的原因我觉得有两点一个是我的英语不够好,跟家庭沟通不顺畅,另一个是因为我不够关心孩子。视频后面家庭问我有什么问题的时候,我没有表现出对孩子足够的关心,这我的失误。第三个家庭还在联系的时候第二个家庭就给我发offer了。所以不知道家庭最后有没有可能选择我。但这个家庭给我印象最深的一点是他们跟我视频是先让孩子和我单独聊了半个小时就像老师们一直强调的,互惠生是一个因为孩子才能存在的项目,所以不论有没有匹配上,我们都应该积累更多的孩子经验,提高自己和孩子打交道的能力,更加了解孩子才可以。
I think there are two reasons for the failure of the first family match. One is that my English is not good enough, the communication with the family is not smooth, the other is that I don't care about the children. When the family asked me to ask my questions, I didn't show enough concern for the children. This is my fault. When the third families were still in contact, the second families sent me offer. So I don't know if this family will finally choose me. But what impressed me most about this family is that they first let their children talk to me alone for half an hour. As teachers have always stressed, Au Pair is a project for children to exist, so whether or not we have a match, we should accumulate more children's experience, improve the ability to connect with children, and know more about children.
 
我觉得家庭会有各种各样的理由选择一个互惠生,都是一种缘分。重要是要珍惜感恩回馈这份信任。
I think the host families have various reasons to choose an Au Pair. It's a fate. The important thing is to cherish, appreciate and give back this trust.
接下来我要继续练好开车,学习英语,并且在生活中更多地去表达自己,学习更好的交流方式。因为家庭孩子都比较小,我还要学习关于这个年龄段孩子的特点,学习如何跟他们互动等等。新的阶段已经开启改变,在路上。
Next, I will continue to learn how to drive, learn English, and express myself more in life, and learn a better way of communication. Because family children are relatively small, I have to learn about the characteristics of children in this age group, learn how to interact with them, etc. The new stage has been opened, I am still on the way of changing.
 
四、最后的话
Last words
因为从毕业到现在接近一年的时间,确实发生了很多事,很难完全说的清楚。我总结出了自己几点收获:
Because almost a year has passed since graduation, and a lot of things have happened. It is hard to say clearly. I summed up some of my gains:
1.沟通真的很重要。特别是老师的沟通,会收获很多经验少走弯路。
1. Communication is really important. In particular, communication with teachers will gain a lot of experience and avoid detours.
2.每个人都有自己的不足,所以都会遇到困难遇到困难不要打退堂鼓,方法总比困难多。
Everyone has their own shortcomings, so we will encounter difficulties. Don't retreat when faced with difficulties.
3.付出和收获成正比,敢于突破自己,用正确的方法努力。
Pay and gain is directly proportional to it. We must dare to break through ourselves and work hard in the right way.
4.不要懒别给自己太多借口
. Don't be lazy. Don't give ourselves too many excuses.
5.抱怨毁掉一件事的最好方式。
Complaining is the best way to destroy a thing.
6.条件不足的时候,给自己足够的时间。
 When conditions are not enough, give yourself enough time.
 
最后一些感谢的话。感谢父母的理解与支持,感谢赵老师总是在我迷茫的时候引导我,感谢彭老师教我成熟地处理事情,感谢Lina老师Grace老师在材料方面对我的诸多帮助,感谢每一个鼓励我帮助我互惠生朋友们(特别是朱琳、昕玮、宣果、东圆),也感谢不完美但是努力的自己。
In the end, there are some words of thanks. Thank my parents for their understanding and support. Thank Ms. Zhao for guiding me when I was confused. Thank Ms. Peng, for teaching me to deal with things maturely, thank Lina and Grace for their help in my materials. Thank you for every friend who encouraged me and help me (especially Linp, Cywill, June and Amy), and also thanks to myself for the imperfect but hard work.

念念不忘,必有回响。希望每个心怀梦想的朋友都能坚持目标,前程似锦

Something that stays in your mind will someday spring up in your life. I hope every friend who has a dream can stick to your goals and have a bright future.
 

 
 

 

 
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